Finishing Elwen And Elrohwen
by Elwen-a-Elrohwen
Summary: Elrond sends his twin daughters to finishing school in Mirkwood, where they wreak havoc on the mistresses. Don't forget Ernil! (you'll find out, r&r!)
1. Finishing Elwen and Elrohwen

Finishing Elwen and Elrohwen  
  
A LotR fan-fic by Elwen_a_Elrohwen Chapter One: Disturbing News Disclaimer: Don't own 'em but wish we did. We just changed Elrond's twins to girls is all. ((Looks around)) what? My co-author and I have concluded that we are the twins in female form; we act alike, finish each other's sentences, etc. Summary: You'll find out soon enough. *****  
"What!" Two voices chorused loud enough for all of Imladris (Rivendell) to hear. Elrond had just told them what he considered a blessing in disguise.  
  
"Adar, how could you do this without asking us? We don't want to go to some fancy-pants finishing school!" The older twin shouted, flicking some irritating hair out of her eyes, blazing in ferocity.  
  
"Elrohwen's right!" The other twin piped up, "We're perfectly content with hunting and having adventures. You know how much we hate formal balls and such!"  
  
"Yes, I do," Elrond replied calmly, "and for the heirs to my lands, I would expect better! Your manners are atrocious, and you are always injured when you come back from those adventures. You leave tomorrow morning for Mirkwood."  
  
"But Adar-"  
  
"No 'buts,' Elwen, you need this and will someday thank me for it." With that, he turned and left the garden in which they had been talking. The younger twin, Elwen, pushed her hair back and glared daggers at her father's retreating form.  
  
"Elrohwen," she began, "I don't want to go to finishing school. All it will do is turn us into mindless zombies they call 'proper ladies,' like Arwen (Their younger sis.)!" Both shuddered at the thought of such torture.  
  
"Speaking of Arwen, isn't she going to marry Estel sometime soon?" Elrohwen asked.  
  
"Yeah, pity we'll be missing the wedding."  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?"  
  
"Estel's wedding, sister."  
  
*****  
  
"I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, I have to go to the bathroom, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet?" The twins chorused. Their goal was to annoy the escort Elrond had sent along to keep them from leaving early; it was successful. Dolen, the escort, had decided in his first glance at the twins, that this would be a long trip. They had already cut his hair irregularly while he slept, filled his food bags with rocks, and poured honey all over his seat in the carriage.  
  
He turned to them and barely managed to keep from slapping them. Instead, he said, "Ladies, I do not want to here another peep out of you until we arrive, understood?" They calmly met his glare with innocent twinkles in their eyes.  
  
"Of course, Dolen," they said in unison. As soon as he turned back out the window, they started to moo loudly. Smiling, they said, "You said not another 'peep.' Nothing was said about 'mooing.'"  
  
"Let me re-phrase that: Not another sound out of you!"  
  
"Okeey-dokeey!" They chorused. Both turned and stared out of their windows.  
  
'Boring,' Elrohwen thought, 'maybe if I can reach Dolen's bag I can mess with something in there.' She reached silently for her escort's bag and began searching through it for something to fiddle with. Finding some parchment, a pen, and ink, she prodded her sister's shoulder. 'This sitting and looking out the window is boring,' she wrote in her messy handwriting. 'Do you think we could convince Dolen to let us ride a horse for a while?'  
  
'Most likely not.' Wrote Elwen. 'It's worth a try though.' She quickly scribbled a note to Dolen.  
  
"Do you think I'm insane?" He asked after reading the note. "The reason we're in this carriage in the first place is that Lord Elrond doesn't trust you on horses."  
  
'Are we close to the school?' Elrohwen wrote.  
  
"Yes, we are just arriving." 


	2. Arrival

Finishing Elwen and Elrohwen Chapter 2: Arrival  
  
Elwen and Elrohwen's boots crunched on the path. Elwen looked up at the foreboding castle before her.  
  
"That's a scary lookin' castle." she remarked, eyes wide.  
  
"How is it scary? It's LAVENDER!"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"Their escort led them up to a set of doors that were easily 600 handspans tall, and made of marble. He knocked the bow-shaped brass knocker and a loud, pealing sound rang out. It played Greensleeves. The twins screamed.  
  
"THE HORROR!"  
  
They were dragged inside by two small, yet surprising strong girls who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. The doors slammed shut behind them ominously.  
  
~*~  
  
"Sing more purely, Elrohwen! You're not a cow! You don't need to bellow."  
  
Elrohwen rolled her eyes, but sang more 'purely', if only to shut Lady Nainie up.  
  
"Higher!" Elrohwen sang 3 octaves higher than the note. "Lower!" She sang quite a few octaves below the note, but not as deep as she was before. "Higher!" And on this went until Lady Nainie gave up and turned to the other sister, Elwen.  
  
"Your turn, Elwen." She played a note on the harp. :Sing that middle C. Should be easy for you."  
  
"Screw you."  
  
"What was that?!"  
  
"I said, SCREW YOU. What, are you deaf, or do you just want me to refuse again?"  
  
Lady Nainie puffed purple at this. "You will sing, or we will expel you from this school for talking back!"  
  
Elwen grinned at her stroke of luck and began calling her every name in her foul vocabulary.  
  
~*~  
  
It took about a week or so for the teachers to realize that threatening them with the normal threats wasn't going to work. They then tried giving them no meals, but the twins would find a way to steal food right from underneath the cook's noses. Then they tried flogging and other physical punishment, but they bore it without so much as a tear or a whimper. After that was solitary confinement, but they somehow managed to break every object in the room, even when tied to a chair. Then was confinement with supervision, but the teachers always ran out screaming bloody murder before five minutes were even over.  
  
"D'ya suppose we're making a good impression?" the she-elf asked her sister plaintitively. 


	3. Bits and Bobbins

Finishing Elwen and Elrohwen  
  
Chapter 3:  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own LotR. End 'o story.  
  
"Small stitches, Elwen. Elrohwen, get rid of that tangle. Honestly, haven't you two ever done embroidery?" Embroidery Mistress Sereg asked of the two.  
  
Both shook their heads, brown locks swinging. Sighing, Mistress Sereg continued past them and began to help the other, more hopeful, students. Elrohwen looked down at the tangle of bright thread that was attached to her sewing hoop. She promptly flung it across the room. "Waste of time, stitching," she commented, turning to her twin. Elwen nodded and looked at the huge stitches on her hoop.  
  
"All it does is give you sore fingers," Elwen agreed, holding up her swollen digits. "What say we blow this hotdog stand?"  
  
"What's a hotdog?" The twin asked.  
  
"Dunno." With that, the two exited the room and headed for the stables. Mounting a horse, Elwen promptly fell off the other side. Elrohwen shook her head at her twin and mounted more gracefully. After Elwen figured out how to mount, and stay on a horse, they rode into the forest.  
  
They had been riding for ten minutes before a gigantic black spider rushed from the trees and attacked. Falling off her horse, Elwen leapt onto the spider's back. Elrohwen, sensing what she was planning, grabbed a rope from her saddlebags and lassoed the spider.  
  
Together, they managed to trap the spider against a tree. "What should we name him?" Elwen asked, looking at the spider.  
  
After examining the pinned, giant arachnid, Elrohwen replied, "Ernil," High-fiving her sister, she carefully undid the ropes securing Ernil to the tree. "Be nice, Ernil," she scolded when he tried to run at Elwen. All of Ernil's eight eyes turned to her and narrowed into angry slits. 


	4. To Dance, or Not to Dance?

Finishing Elwen and Elrohwen Chapter Four: To Dance or Not to Dance  
  
Lady Gon silently counted the girls waiting before her patiently in their elaborate gowns and dancing slippers. 14. Two were missing. She had no doubt which two they were.  
  
"Elwen! Elrohwen! Get out here!"  
  
"NO!" Came the chorused reply from the room.  
  
"You will get out here now- in a dancing outfit, or I'll-" she was cut off as the door clicked. Someone- or two someones, was opening the door. She paused. It seemed easy- too easy. Suddenly, the door burst open to have the twins run in (threatened bard in tow), dressed in red and black, dancing the cancan. Soon they had yanked in (to the class' dismay) the rest of the girls, and formed a cancan line. The poor tortured bard just sat and played.  
  
"STOP IT!" Lady Gon shouted. The other girls sat down thankfully, but the twins crossed their arms simultaneously and glared at her, then grinned at each other and began to swing dance. Lady Gon yanked the lute from the bard and broke it in half. The two stopped immediately.  
  
"What was that for?!" Elrohwen protested.  
  
"I thought you wanted us to dance!" Elwen put in.  
  
"To dance PROPERLY! Dance ladylike dances, elegant, graceful, like waltzes, BALLROOM DANCES!"  
  
Both made a face. "Ewwwww."  
  
Three hours later.  
  
Elwen and Elrohwen stood, wearing pink, frilly, fluffy, gauzy, foofy dresses. Somehow they had managed to keep their large boots on instead of the dancing slippers.  
  
"Much better- now, for the box step, the first part of the waltz."  
  
The twins made a face, then looked at each other. Twin sparks lit in their eyes, and they grinned demonically. They allowed themselves to be paired up with another student.  
  
The music began. A few moments into the song, Elwen's partner, a slight, blonde, skinny thing, let out an ear-piercing shriek.  
  
"She stepped on my foot!" Elwen smiled innocently.  
  
"I'm afraid my partner is mistaken- she hit her foot against the wall." She said with perfect grace. They started the dance again. Within seconds, Elrohwen's partner had screamed and claimed the same affliction. The two looked at each other and hid a grin. Simultaneously, they dug their booted heels into their partners' feet. They both screamed.  
  
"She did it again!"  
  
"My foot!"  
  
Lady Gon changed their partners.  
  
Within the duration of thirty minutes, every girl other than Elwen and Elrohwen was sitting out with an ice bag on one (or both) foot.  
  
"JUST GO TO YOUR QUARTERS!"  
  
They gladly left, muttering "We have to feed Ernil, anyway.", reaching into their pockets for the dead mice they had been collecting. 


End file.
